I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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