she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
