i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
