Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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