Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
