Can i not drive my cunt home
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
