i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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