dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
