I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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