i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My bed smells like the plague
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
