My friends, they love my intelligence
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
