Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
