I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
