I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
