I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
