Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we're making bets on your personal life
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
