someone threw a dead crab at me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
