so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
