Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
