that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
