What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
