Do vagina's smell?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
