Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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