Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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