Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
