I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
