He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
