He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
it was like eating out sand paper
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just had sex on a roof
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
