this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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