Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
my liver is dry heaving
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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