it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i out mim tonsoeep
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