A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
