I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
