you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
