Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Me too!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Randomize
