I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he was CRYING into my vagina
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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