That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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