I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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