he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well I just put wine in my tea
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
