That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
