I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
