I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I deserve this hangover.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
