she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
wanna go halves on a baby?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
