No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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