You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
