I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
