i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
