He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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