Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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