she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
