Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
