i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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