everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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